i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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