i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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