I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
