when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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