remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the day after is always just damage control
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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