Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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