i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Your mouth is God's brothel.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
