I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
