i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
