Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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