is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
