I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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