Can Purell be used as lube?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
