You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
