I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
