sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
