white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
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