She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
