Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
