Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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