just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
