I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
