What a fucking waste of an outfit
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
