Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
