Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
