Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
