i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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