I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
