you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
