just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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