I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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