chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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