I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
