just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
