why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
