we have officially lost it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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