No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
