He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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