Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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