I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
