So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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