i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
