I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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