She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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