I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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