She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I will pee on everything he values.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
