mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
