I'm so fucking centered right now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
