I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
