Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
