He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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