Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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