Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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