you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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