She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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