butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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