I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
