he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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