I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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